Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Shed

The shed is almost finished! See my big ole front porch?! You can't store anything on a front porch (oh please girlfriend, you're living in the South--where's the refrigerator?) but you can have a rocking chair to collapse in after a hard day of junking. And the dogs already love the cool concrete floor, a perfect place to lie when the heat and humidity become unbearable. Which has started to happen already--our Week of Winter has ended.

I didn't think the porch was going to be THIS ginormous but the guys said any smaller and it wouldn't be a good porch. And I had to have a GOOD porch. Notice the reddish dirt surrounding all entrances to the shed. This is what's called Alabama red clay. When it's wet, it's like stepping in a pile of doggie you-know-what. It's impossible to scrape off your shoe--you have to spray it off. The guy who brought it here is totally on my "I hate you, you piece of s**t" list. And what's it doing in Mississippi? Yes, I'm upset--slipping and falling and landing on your patootie with an armload of depression glass might tend to put me in a VERY VERY VERY bad mood. Oh yeah, I forgot--I don't have bad moods. I'm medicated. Darn.

Once I get that rocking chair, I'll be able to gaze into my beautiful back woods. Sort of makes up for having to navigate the treacherous Alabama red clay to get to the porch. That brown patch is our very own Mysterious Dead Spot on the Lawn. Nothing will grow there, not even weeds. I'll bet not even KUDZU would grow there, which really belongs to Louisiana but like the red clay and Governor Haley Barbour, it's here and we can't seem to get rid of it.

I'm slowly moving all my STUFF from the house to the shed. Since most of it is glass, I have to be very careful during the transport, and having to watch out for the red clay means I can't have too much in my arms. I guess I could wrap everything individually in bubble wrap, box it up and wheel it over with the handtruck, but that's an awful lot of work. This way, I'm bound to lose at least 50 pounds with all that walking. Hahahahahahahahaha. I crack me up.