Saturday, August 29, 2009

"I'm Happy As Hell, And I'm Not Going To Take This Anymore!"

I have always been my own best friend, for better or worse. I like being with me and don't always feel like being around other people. Perhaps that's why I don't tend to nurture relationships like I guess I should, but it always seems that some people I'm friends with tend to think I'm there simply to listen to their problems. Don't get me wrong--the greatest gift you can give as a friend is to listen, but when you are ALWAYS sitting there like a stump while your "friend" goes on and on about the bad boyfriend/husband or the financial problems or the health issues, well, it just gets to you after awhile. Hours have gone by as I'd sit with the phone clamped to my ear, intermittently injecting an "Oh really!" or "I can't believe that!" while my husband sat there rolling his eyes and trying to lipread the television. If I try to offer advice, it's usually met with defense for the person being complained about. If I try to talk about stuff in my life, I can actually sense right through the phone that the person I'm talking to can't wait to interrupt me and get back to her problems.

I've met several women through blogging that I wish I knew more personally--but at least I know them, if not in the flesh, then at least through their words. My blog is my way of talking without being interrupted. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to myself, and I selfishly yearn for vast number of "followers", but then I look more closely at the blogs of the women who do visit me and I see kindred spirits. Plus there are those who don't leave comments on the blog itself but let me know they read it via Facebook comments or emails.

I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful home, good health, and four adorable pets. I've gone through several lifetimes of craziness and grief and joy and now I'm at a point in my life where I just want to enjoy what I have without people trying to bring me down because they've made a mess of their own life.

What I'm getting at is that I'm 59 years old and I don't have to take people's rudeness and disinterest in me any longer. I know there are people out there who think I'm funny and talented and nice and giving and THOSE are the people I want to be friends with. And I think those people are funny and talented and nice and giving, too! I'm not Mother Theresa, I'm not perfect, and yes, I can be a bitch at times, but more often than not, even if I don't WANT to, I WILL help you (why do people think that, when they ask for something, we should always act like the request is absolutely the best thing to ever come our way? If we say we'll do it, we'll do it--but don't expect me to jump up and down with joy over it).

And that's all I have to say about THAT!